Spring has sprung and so have my allergies. I took Claritin-D today and feel like my head is not attached to my body. In fact, when I’m done here and I’m going to google “Claritin-D and out-of-body experiences.” Anyway, here’s hoping this post is somewhat coherent today!
This weekend I yet again attempted to just relax. My boyfriend moved in a few weeks ago, and we are learning how to navigate sharing space with each other. Mostly we are learning how to relax together, and it turns out, I’m not very good at relaxing. My instinct is to go go go, even when my body is telling me otherwise. This has been super enlightening to realize. Especially because I have often wondered why I am exhausted before my (work) week has even begun?!
He, on the other hand, just inherently gets it. He takes care of himself, and doesn’t push himself to a place of exhaustion. This has forced me to do some self-reflection, and I welcome you to join me into the inner workings of how I think:
First, I think I’ve subconsciously always taken pride in being able to list the many activities I’ve completed (I’m even using the word “completed” here, hmmm) in a weekend. You know? I get back to work and inevitably someone asks me about my weekend, and I can rattle off numerous activities “proving” to them and me that I am interesting. Ouch! Slightly humiliating to write, but there you have it.
Second, somewhere along the line I told myself that relaxing TOO much on a weekend, was just being lazy. Huh? Never mind that during my work week, all I fantasize about it doing nothing. But when my free time arrives, despite my desire to slow down, I label rest as “feeling lazy” instead of a necessary and restorative break.
And lastly, I seem to have placed value on some activities versus others. For instance, if you are a gardner and want to be in the garden all weekend, I will look at that restorative activity as more worthy than me taking a 2-hour long Saturday nap. Movies have always been therapy to me, but if I decide a movie marathon is what I need, I will feel the pang of the “shoulds.” I really should do something else. Why? Who cares? Who’s watching?
So, here’s the new plan. I will start paying attention to what gives me energy and what doesn’t. I will not compare my relaxing styles with others. I will practice gratitude that I have time off to relax. And I will luxuriate in my 2-hour long Saturday naps.
Yup, good plan.
Take care of YOU.